The hopeless bride’s first love

Whilst I have mentioned all the things about weddings that I have no clue about, there is one thing that I have been sure of since I was a little girl. I love VW camper vans.

Whether it’s all the pretty colours they come in, or the fact that we share initials I don’t know but I have always been obsessed with them.

My bedroom in my parents has camper vans mugs, money boxes, ornaments and I even had some personalised camper van embroideries made to hang on my wall.








So when it came to how I would get to the wedding it was simple, it had to be a camper. Or at least I thought it was simple. Despite being  15 months before the wedding, so many companies were already booked up on our date.

Two magazine wedding planners said I didn’t need to even consider transport until 6 months before the wedding – what do they know?!!

Luckily my fiancé was determined to book the car of my dreams to get me to the wedding (what an absolute babe) so after hours of research, emails and phone calls he finally found Charlie.

Charlie in the top picture is a white and navy 1967, split screen camper van and he will be taking me and my bridesmaids to the ceremony, perfect. I am in love.

The transport is booked, progress is actually being made, I am one happy hopeless bride!

The hopeless bride books a venue

What’s next I last asked, well apparently it’s the venue, so nothing major then (cue hyperventilating)

I may not know much, but even I know that the venue is a pretty big deal. You spend the majority of the day there so it needs to be good – no pressure then.

A quick Google search confirmed that I may as well be looking for a needle in a haystack. There are churches, castles, barns, manor houses and now apparently even pubs that hold licences to hold ceremonies.

The thought of spending the foreseeable future traipsing around a selection of these places, whilst always being told that they’re the most flexible venue, with the best food and the most reasonable prices in the area, was not a good prospect.

So after a few hours, several cups of tea and procrastinating episodes of ‘The real housewives of Chester,’ I made a list of possible places to visit.

First on the list was Dorton house, a lovely old building in the countryside that during term time also houses a boarding school.

Viewing the house was a dream, it’s perfect and everything I realised I didn’t know I wanted. Within two hours it was booked, how’s that for efficiency?!

Surely I’m on some sort of roll and planning the whole thing is going to continue to go this smoothly….. Yea I don’t think so either.

The hopeless bride begins

Faced with the daunting prospect of actually starting to plan a wedding, I did the only logical thing and spent a silly amount of money on glossy magazines, stationery, notebooks and guides. Basically anything to avoid having to actually do anything. Good start.

After reading the aforementioned magazines, it seemed everyone was telling me that the first thing we needed to do was a set a date. Well that’s easy isn’t it? you just pick a date and that’s it don’t you? In short – No.

The more I read, the more things I realised you have to take in to account.

  • What year –  you need to pay for a wedding and leave enough time to book everything
  • What season – this can affect the style of wedding you have and what is available
  • What month – this can determine what sort of flowers and food you have (apparently)
  • What day of the week
  • Birthdays/anniversaries of friends and family
  • Guests who may only be able to attend at certain times
  • The phase of the moon, your star sign, the direction of the wind at that time of year…… I joke but you get the picture

My head spinning, I gradually discounted dates for various reasons and found hardly any were left.

In the end, we decided to pretty much ignore all the magazine advice and just picked a date in a month we liked the sound of, so 29th July 2017 it is.

So the first part of the planning was done and it was time to celebrate. Shortly after starting a glass of wine, feeling very smug, did I realise that picking a date was only the beginning. The date means nothing unless something is booked for that day.  Great.

What’s next?




The hopeless bride is born

There are many things in adult life that I just don’t seem to understand or know how to do that for someone the wrong side of 25 I feel I should know. For example:

  • How does anyone paint their nails without completely covering themselves in polish without spending an hour with a cotton bud scrubbing the side of your fingers to make them look respectable?
  • How do you put salt in a dishwasher? (why does it even need salt?)
  • How on earth does anyone figure out mortgages and buying a house? (in the process of this so need to work it out soon)
  • How do people go on a night out, get drunk and function at all the next day? (I seriously need to answer this)

And one other thing on this list is how to plan a wedding, which up until now has not been a pressing issue. But, having been engaged for over a year, we decided we really should crack on and organise something, cue absolute terror at the thought of being partly responsible for planning a wedding.

This leads us to the creation of this blog and why I feel the need to share this journey with you in the faint hope that I’m not alone and that there are others out there who are desperately trying to ‘fake it until you make it’ through their adult life.

So even if not one person reads this, I’m going to give it a go and hope and pray I survive the next 15 months as a hopeless bride-to-be.